I Give Up.

I am completely broken. Broken means something doesn't work right, it means something cannot be used properly while it is broken. It does not function the way it was made to function because it is not complete, it is broken.

I went through years of counseling to get to where I am at today. for a long period of time it wasn't just a once in awhile thing, it was twice a week, it was intense and very hard. I thought I had grown a great deal, forgiven those who had done bad things to me, felt as though I was loved by a group of people, felt very loved by God. I felt as though I could love and I tried it out.

Unfortunately, from what I have been told, loving someone destroyed them and their family. I have had to live with some decisions that were hard to live with. Have had to take responsibility for my actions and it was difficult, but I did it. I don't know how to live with the weight of knowing I destroyed an entire family by simply trying to love.

If I have not love, then what do I have to offer the world that is worth anything? The answer to that is nothing.